The dance....

Today at work, one of the pediatric residents ( a young doctor,  completing her training to be a pediatrician) asked me and one of my nurse practitioner colleagues how we dealt with the death of children in our work.  Were there some cases that you just couldn't keep a professional distance from?   We told her, of course...there are always those patients who grab your heart for whatever reason....and no matter how much experience or professional training you have, you find yourself crying your eyes out when they leave this world.   How do you deal with it,  people ask me, seeing children sick, seeing them die?

Children aren't supposed to die.  We all know that.  But.....they do.  Babies die, toddlers, young children, teens, and young adults die...every day.   If you work in a pediatric hospital, you come to accept this as part of the work...you're going to experience death, on some level, at some time.   The reason all of us who choose this work do what we do is not about death, however.  It's about life.  It's about doing our best to heal physical brokenness when we can, and to heal emotional brokenness when we can't fix the wounds of illness, cancer, trauma, and genetics.   We receive many gifts from seeing our patients return to health, and receive many when they do not.  What we learn from these children and their families changes who we are, how we see life, forever.   Doctors and nurses who work with dying patients know to never, ever, take life for granted.   And that indeed, even in death, joy can be found.

Because death is a part of life.  We all will go through this passage.  For those of us who do not believe that death is the ultimate end, but rather another beginning, the pain of saying goodbye to a loved ones' physical presence is tempered by knowing that not only will their spirit live on, going on glorious adventures, but that someday, we will dance and love and joyfully celebrate together again.  Maybe I couldn't do the work I do without that belief...but no more could I exist in this world without it either.  Having experienced the presence of loved ones who have crossed over, and knowing that they are just across the horizon, the pain of parting is always softened with this knowledge.

Neil Gaiman wrote a lovely book that addresses some of these themes, called "The Graveyard Book." http://www.neilgaiman.com/works/Books/The+Graveyard+Book/

Such an ethereal story, that ultimately speaks to the fact that we can't spend our lives living in the past, chasing ghosts, or fading into the shadows...that life is lived by stepping out into the world and taking chances, living as fully as possible, with love and truth.  If we live this way, we understand that when we reach "the graveyard," that it's time to dance with joy with those whom we are forever connected to, both here and beyond.   By chance, I just found this lovely song (and wonderful video)  by one of my new favorite bands, Delta Rae, that seems like it was written to compliment this wonderful book.  It's like a spiritual hymn, that makes you want to dance,and laugh,and smile.  

http://youtu.be/lPOM0IUsd_0